Thursday 18 October 2012
The crazy cycle of emotions
This week has been a crazy cycle of emotions. The first thing I felt at finding out my new diagnosis was absolute shock followed not far behind by anger - I think this was pretty obvious in my last post. This lated until I met with my new specialist this past weekend and I became determined to sort this out - after all no babies for me until I do! I got to the point the night before this appointment where i was looking up how surrogacy works in this country - crazy jumping the gun shenanigans I know but I just needed some kind of worst case scenario for me and I could see this working really well for us and how we could do it (it also made me really passionate about making surrogacy a lot easier to access - and more legal than it is now as for some couples it is a wonderful option and it is just so hard here - ill hop off my soap box now as I really have very little information about it and my opinions are only minimally formed - I am also really aware that whilst this blog is primarily for me I really do not want to offend anyone!) Now that I have had some tests done and am having more scans and appointments next week I am just resigned - lets get this show on the road and sort it out ASAP - the sooner the better for my health and the chance at future babies.
Tuesday 9 October 2012
As if PCOS was not enough...
So apparently having PCOS is not enough! The same blood test that I was ever so happy about in my last post had a sinister side to it. My RE called this evening and apparently I also have an over active thyroid. I have been checked for this a thousand times because it runs in my family. However I really did get a shock today because it has never come up as an issue and I had kind of become used to the idea that it never would.
I have been working and working on trying to deal with the PCOS and now I just feel like another spanner has been chucked in the works! I mean what else am I going to have to deal with?!! My RE has told me that there is no way that I should be thinking about conceiving right now and that just breaks my heart in two. I feel like I am up one minute and down the next.
All I can hope now is that my glucose test on Thursday does not come back positive for type 2 diabetes because that would be just the icing on the cake.
Sorry for the downer post - I was really aiming to become a lot more positive.
I have been working and working on trying to deal with the PCOS and now I just feel like another spanner has been chucked in the works! I mean what else am I going to have to deal with?!! My RE has told me that there is no way that I should be thinking about conceiving right now and that just breaks my heart in two. I feel like I am up one minute and down the next.
All I can hope now is that my glucose test on Thursday does not come back positive for type 2 diabetes because that would be just the icing on the cake.
Sorry for the downer post - I was really aiming to become a lot more positive.
Monday 8 October 2012
Hormonal Imbalance
There are two main factors when it comes to managing my PCOS - insulin resistance and an excess in androgens (male sex hormones). The weight loss journey that I am trying to undertake is focused upon both of these things however it is the excess in androgens that I am excited about today.
On Friday I went back to my GP just to have a chat about where I am after my RE visit and to see if she had the results from a blood test that I took earlier in the week. What I was looking for in the blood test results was to see if there was any change in these hormones. In people who do not have PCOS the ovaries make a small amount of male sex hormones but in PCOS, they start making slightly more androgens. This means that people who have PCOS can stop ovulating and grow excess body and facial hair - lucky me! The good news for me was that my levels have dropped 28% since July and 50% since January - my GP nearly high fived me. What I found interesting was the big drop since July considering I lost more weight between January and July than I have since then. I'd imagine that it was my body getting used to this fact but the only other thing that I have changed is the introduction of Myoinositol - maybe it is working...
As I left she was really positive and said that I would be pregnant in no time - the positivity is great but I still have 60 pounds to lose before I am out of the obese weight range on the BMI scale. I just have to keep going.
In this vein I have started using the MyFitnessPal: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ ap on my phone to track what I have been eating. I truly didn't think it was that bad and I just needed to exercise more and get out of the I am too tired, lazy and busy funk that I am in a lot of the time. Turns out I really am eating way too many calories for weight loss to be much of an option. I have begun to look back into low gi eating - I always hated the idea because I didn't like the taste of a lot of the food. However, I was reading some womens' journeys with PCOS on Keiko Zoll's blog: http://theinfertilityvoice.com/ and found a link to a woman who has used the South Beach Diet to lose weight. Now i'm not planning on going on any form of diet - I believe what I am doing has to be a lifestyle change and fit into my day to day life and still leave room for things that happen like birthdays, holidays, weekends away e.t.c and I refuse to feel any sort of guilt during these days. However, the plus of the south beach diet is that there seems to be a lot of low gi options so i'm going to try a few of the recepies from Kalyn's Kitchen: http://www.kalynskitchen.com/ and see how I go with trying to incorporate more of this type of food into my life.
On Friday I went back to my GP just to have a chat about where I am after my RE visit and to see if she had the results from a blood test that I took earlier in the week. What I was looking for in the blood test results was to see if there was any change in these hormones. In people who do not have PCOS the ovaries make a small amount of male sex hormones but in PCOS, they start making slightly more androgens. This means that people who have PCOS can stop ovulating and grow excess body and facial hair - lucky me! The good news for me was that my levels have dropped 28% since July and 50% since January - my GP nearly high fived me. What I found interesting was the big drop since July considering I lost more weight between January and July than I have since then. I'd imagine that it was my body getting used to this fact but the only other thing that I have changed is the introduction of Myoinositol - maybe it is working...
As I left she was really positive and said that I would be pregnant in no time - the positivity is great but I still have 60 pounds to lose before I am out of the obese weight range on the BMI scale. I just have to keep going.
In this vein I have started using the MyFitnessPal: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ ap on my phone to track what I have been eating. I truly didn't think it was that bad and I just needed to exercise more and get out of the I am too tired, lazy and busy funk that I am in a lot of the time. Turns out I really am eating way too many calories for weight loss to be much of an option. I have begun to look back into low gi eating - I always hated the idea because I didn't like the taste of a lot of the food. However, I was reading some womens' journeys with PCOS on Keiko Zoll's blog: http://theinfertilityvoice.com/ and found a link to a woman who has used the South Beach Diet to lose weight. Now i'm not planning on going on any form of diet - I believe what I am doing has to be a lifestyle change and fit into my day to day life and still leave room for things that happen like birthdays, holidays, weekends away e.t.c and I refuse to feel any sort of guilt during these days. However, the plus of the south beach diet is that there seems to be a lot of low gi options so i'm going to try a few of the recepies from Kalyn's Kitchen: http://www.kalynskitchen.com/ and see how I go with trying to incorporate more of this type of food into my life.
Sunday 7 October 2012
Bitter Infertiles - a podcast about lady parts!
I have a few posts planned but have been away so haven't quite got them done yet.
In the meantime as part of my favourite blogs series I have to give a big shout out to the ladies at the Bitter Infertiles podcast. They have been discussing some really important topics to do with ttc, infertility and loss and it is definitely worth a listen for anyone who is going through any of these things.
You can access the podcast through their blog or via iTunes:
bitter infertiles.wordpress.com
In the meantime as part of my favourite blogs series I have to give a big shout out to the ladies at the Bitter Infertiles podcast. They have been discussing some really important topics to do with ttc, infertility and loss and it is definitely worth a listen for anyone who is going through any of these things.
You can access the podcast through their blog or via iTunes:
bitter infertiles.wordpress.com
Saturday 29 September 2012
On feeling gross...
I feel so fat and disgusting today. The last two weeks have been dreadful for my weight loss – I have been busy and stressed and I’m an emotional eater at the best of times. I was too scared to go to my personal training session because I didn’t want to get in trouble for putting on weight so I cancelled it…which just makes things worse. I was trying to put an audiobook on my phone today to listen to at the gym and everything took so long that I have run out of time because we are on our way to my in-laws for Sunday dinner.
I just feel like a failure and really need to find a way to get past this. It’s times like these when I really screw myself over – I have been on this journey for a year now and I have fluctuated so much during that time – if I had lost 2 pounds a week which was my goal I could have lost over 100 pounds by now – I’d be at my goal weight and my PCOS might be under control and I could be pregnant right now…it is all my fault that I’m not L
Friday 28 September 2012
Thursday 27 September 2012
Success...maybe?
There is another M word other than Metformin and Myoinositol when it comes to my struggle with PCOS and that is one that names a certain drive through fast food establishment with a clown as its mascot. Today I am proud to say that for one of the first times ever I avoided the temptation to take the convenient route on my way to work when I was running late. I have often displayed the temptation to use this establishment as my breakfast rendezvous point rather than think about a healthier option - today I did that. Go me! Is all I have to say :-)
Thank you so much for all of your messages regarding the birth of my nephew. He is the most wonderful little thing and my amazing sister only went through 5 hrs of labour after being induced with no tearing or anything! I am so very proud of her - she has handled everything so well!
I don't know if it is the hormones from meeting him or if it is the Myoinositol beginning to make a difference but I feel the beginnings of AF arriving. That would make this my first actual AF since April and the shortest in a long time! Hopefully she rears her ugly head because for one of the first times ever I am really looking forward to seeing her because that would mean that things are starting to work properly again!
Thank you so much for all of your messages regarding the birth of my nephew. He is the most wonderful little thing and my amazing sister only went through 5 hrs of labour after being induced with no tearing or anything! I am so very proud of her - she has handled everything so well!
I don't know if it is the hormones from meeting him or if it is the Myoinositol beginning to make a difference but I feel the beginnings of AF arriving. That would make this my first actual AF since April and the shortest in a long time! Hopefully she rears her ugly head because for one of the first times ever I am really looking forward to seeing her because that would mean that things are starting to work properly again!
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